The Importance Of Sex In A Relationship

Sex In A Relationship:

Stress can take a major toll on your sex life.
For a man, work and money-related stress is particularly likely to take its toll on libido.
A woman's, stress usually starts at home, and including her relationship, which sends her sexual desire packing.

Sex isn’t an issue unless a couple isn’t having any.

In today’s busy world, many couples find themselves juggling a hectic work life with an equaly hectic homelife. From kids to careers to simply getting enough sleep, it’s all too easy for couples to allow their relationships to fall off the to-do list.

The problem is that even if a couple shares a strong partnership as parents, that relationship if sexless can become vulnerable. Sex isn’t an issue unless a couple isn’t having any! Then it rapidly becomes the spectre that no one talks about. When one partner has a higher sex drive than the other the lack of physical intimacy becomes a source of resentment resulting in added stress further increasing the stress and in turn further pushing sex down the list.

Research shows sex is one of the main causes couples argue, often above money, housework and other common sources of conflict. Sex is also one of those subjects that women tend to keep bottled up because they’re afraid of eliciting an angry reaction.

Many men respond by fighting, arguing triggers the brain’s fight or flight response system. and it’s this confrontational approach raises one’s heart rate, increases blood pressure and plays a big role in cardiac disease. The opposite reaction, flight, can be just as harmful, if not worse, for women. It leads to self-silencing: a bottling-up of emotions that causes anxiety, depression and a cascade of unhealthy behaviors.

Whether they’re arguing or allowing resentment to build, a couple will drift further away from physical intimacy, which is an important part of reconnecting and buffering stress. As they start to feel more disconnected, they’re not apt to feel very sexual, and a destructive cycle takes over. One or both partners may turn to sex-substitutes, which often come in the form of comfort eating, alcohol and drug use, or, if the problem goes on too long infidelity.

These paths are no solution, drinking too much can result in sexual dysfunction, which will only make matters worse. Alcohol interferes with erectile function, lubrication and sexual desire, as do other common treatments for too much stress, antidepressants and sedatives.

To regain a positive sex life, couples need to find a way to put sex back to the top of the list find a way to reduce daily stresses where they can. Both partners must redirect some energy toward their relationship with each other, and get over feelings of guilt or excuses that they are too busy, or too tired.

If one person reaches out and starts to make the effort, most couples find that it becomes easier relatively quickly. Both people begin to feel closer to each other and stop co-existing and remember what they had together before the kids and all of the responsibilities came along.

Couples to try to have sex once a week, unless there is an real reason not to do so such as illness. Plan a special night, or simply spend quality time together after the kids have gone to bed, devote some attention to each other at least one night a week, if not more.

Start a new ritual together, then work from there. Soon the stress in your relationship will disappear which in turn will enable you to deal better with lifes other stress' and that vicious negative circle will rapidly reverse into a positive benificial experience, you will feel happier, you’ll be a more connected, feel supported.

Picking the best place to go on your first date

The best way to pick a perfect location for that first date is to pick a place you know that you both will enjoy. It is obvious that you don't know too much about your partner, but here are some tips to pick a great place where you can get to know each other and also have a great time.

Ask your partner where they like to hang out when they go out (like with friends). Listen to her/him and then try to take him/her to some place similar, where you know he/she will be comfortable and where the two of you will have a great time.

Think about what you already know about your partner. Try to remember what you two have talked about together. What does your partner enjoy doing? What does your partner like eating? What does your partner hate? Remembering everything is pretty important in order for you to choose the right place.

Pick a place where you both can interact without things being awkward or you feeling like you're on an interview. A good place is a local music venue. Somewhere in the artsy part of town would be good where there's live music.

If you are thinking about going to a coffee shop like Gloria Jeans or Starbucks, go and check the menu first. This will give you more confidence because you don't want to be embarrassed trying to drink/eat something that is foreign which you may not enjoy.

You can take her/him out to dinner. Dinner is a nice option since it allows enough time for casual conversation, plenty of laughs, and a nice time. It let you both get to know one another and eat great food. If what you want is to have some time to talk and get to know each other, this one is the best option.

Go to the movies. A movie is great, if you are careful to pick the right one; try to find out what kind of movies your partner likes: does he/she like comedies, dramas, or horror films? If both of you don't like the same types of films, then try and choose a median that both of you will agree on. Renting a movie could also be an optimal choice, since you would be able to talk to each other while watching a rented movie, whereas you can't at the movie theater. However, this may seem overly presumptuous for a first date.

Don't pick an overly romantic place. Taking your partner somewhere usually reserved for close couples will make him/her feel uncomfortable; such as an overly fancy restaurant, or an exotic place for dancing. He/she will feel almost as if you expect a lot from him/her. You want your partner to feel relaxed and at ease.  

If you're feeling a little adventurous, try to be creative. The first date is the one he/she is going to remember, so picking a place he/she wouldn't expect is a great first impression. Going bowling, Christmas caroling, bake a cake together, or go to an arcade. The possibilities are endless! Just make sure it is not too gushy or showy, because it can cause unnecessary tension and/or awkwardness, and also make sure your partner will enjoy it.

Be modest when it comes to paying for the dinner or certain activity. Whether you be male or female, offering to pay is always a generous gesture. You can always split the cost of activities or you can just pay for all of it outright.

Don't hesitate to ask the other person for their opinion as to where you should go, after all the goal is to make them as comfortable as possible. Try and avoid places you frequent very regularly as you are likely to run into lots of people you know. While this isn't a bad thing, you might end up irritating the other person with a constant stream of people coming up to you and saying hi.

Don't go somewhere too private. Your date might feel uncomfortable. Going to a place with other people, restaurant, movies, mall... These places are good places to start so your date doesn't become uncomfortable and think you expect more than you actually want.

Remember though, if you have initiated the plan, the final say should be yours for the first time. It shows decisiveness and the ability to take the lead, which is a plus point.

Best Orgasm positions to try when making love

The Slow Climb You'll never see missionary position the same way again. "While on your back, put a pillow under your butt, lift your hips, and bring your legs up and back toward your shoulders, as though you're folding in half. This move allows him better ease of thrusting and deeper penetration — a perk for both of you. Plus, it can stimulate your G-spot. But consider this a warm-up — you're getting the zone primed for a more intense orgasm. Once your G-spot feels sufficiently stroked, put your legs down and have him get into coital-alignment-technique (CAT) position. "He's on top, but he lifts his pelvic bone upward, aligning it with your clitoris.Then he rocks against the area until you peak. The legs-up position is a slow burn that brings you to the brink and increases sensitivity. Then the addition of clitoral rubbing takes you over the edge in a bigger way than if you had done CAT alone,.

Down Dog You've probably tried an all-fours pose before (at least, we hope you have!). But while mentally the doggie-style position has great bad-girl benefits, in order to make it actually orgasmic, you need to modify it a bit. "Lie on your stomach, lifting your butt slightly so he can enter you. "Your partner can prop himself up with his hands in a push-up position or lie on top of you." Not only does this facedown configuration provide increased friction as he moves in and out, but you can gently grind your clitoral area against the bed as well.

The Criss-cross With all the twisting and bending that goes on, sometimes sex can feel more like a cardio workout than a pleasurefest. That's why it's important to have at least one relaxed orgasm — inducing position in your repertoire. Such as this: While you're on your back, he should lie on his side, turned toward you, Swing both legs over his hips and thighs, making a bridge over them. Then, just let him gently thrust into you. If it takes you a while to climax, this pose is ideal. "It's not very aerobic, so the sex can go on for a long time without either of you tiring out, When you want to climax, it's easy to touch yourself or he can use his top hand to stimulate you.

The Giddy-up Girl-on-top tends to be a go-to for achieving orgasm...and for good reason! It allows you to dictate the pace and depth of thrusting, but mainly, you have easy access to your clitoris. You can touch your G-spot, have him touch it, or rub against his pubic bone to achieve orgasm. But you can up the ante by literally pulling a 180. Twist around so you're pointed toward his feet in reverse cowgirl position. "Instead of straddling him, put your legs together, feet flat between his legs. The benefits of this are twofold: With your legs together, the fit is even tighter, making the sensations more intense. Plus, there's increased G-spot stimulation, which combined with your own clitoral strokes, makes for an explosive orgasm.

Torrid Tabletop In some cases, a simple change of scenery can aid in achieving orgasm. For this move, you'll need a kitchen table — one that comes to your man's waist. "Lie down on the table with your butt near the edge. He enters you while standing between your legs, holding on to your hips for leverage. You can rest your feet on his shoulders or on the edge of the table. Because he's standing, his hands are free to stroke your body,. And he's at a perpendicular angle, rather than right on top of you, making it easier for him to touch your clitoris, unobstructed. To up your odds of orgasming, clench and lift up your butt, which will increase the pelvic tension and blood flow to the area.

Lusty Lap dance This one's always a fan favorite — he sits and you straddle him so you're face-to-face. "You have a lot of control over the speed, angle, and motion because you can use your arms and legs to help you maneuver. Rather than just moving up and down, which can be especially tiring for you, sway forward and back, rubbing your clitoral area against him. In addition to the freedom of movement, there are a few other benefits to this booty move. "If you lean back just a little bit, you'll get greater G-spot stimulation and he'll be able to play with your clitoris, Plus, your breasts will be perfectly aligned with his mouth, adding a whole other layer to the sexual experience.

The Spoon Obviously, you know emotional attachment is essential to achieving orgasm with your guy. And there's no configuration that's more snuggly than the spoon. To assume the position, simply lie on your side, your guy scooted up behind you. Rather than move in and out, he should stay inside you, gently thrusting against the front wall of your vagina. "Aside from fulfilling your cuddly needs, it provides consistent stimulation to your G-spot, which is key for achieving orgasm from intercourse, Since he may not be able to penetrate you as deeply though, guide his hand around your hot spot." And just think: Once you've both climaxed, you'll be in perfect postcoital position as well.